"There are always flowers for those who want to see them." - Matisse
I've been thinking about beauty lately. "Eye of the beholder" - yeah, yeah. But I'll tell you what else I know about beauty. It's a man with a broken heart that overcomes fear and makes the choice to love again. It is survival; it is not only beating the odds, but realizing that the odds are only a figment of our imagination.
Beauty is our bumps and our bruises. It's the jagged line between perfection and humanity. It is the divine, but it's also the veil that separates the human existence from the divine. It's not the promise of something; beauty is the hope of something. It's faith. It is light in darkness but it is also the darkness. Beauty is forgiveness for no reason. It's saying "I love you" to the people who certainly do not love us back. It's treating someone with kindness when they've betrayed us, and it is walking away from those that are toxic to us.
Beauty is our holes. It's the woman who has lost a father but has somehow found the courage to keep growing on her own, as much as she might want to just run back to her daddy's arms. It's feeling pain instead of choosing numbness instead. It's loving when we're afraid to lose someone. It's being completely terrified of doing something, and doing it anyway.
Beauty is making eye contact with the homeless man with the cardboard sign on the corner of the intersection instead of avoiding his gaze. It is allowing yourself to be with your suffering and the suffering of others without movement of comfort or sympathy - just being.
Beauty is the moment that you consciously choose to listen to your heart, to laugh at doubt until your sides hurt. It is believing in yourself when no one else does. It isn't just quietly believing in your dreams in the face of adversity, but actively fighting for your dreams. It is breaking cycles and patterns. It is more than a physical appearance. Beauty is sacred, it is sensual, it is sexuality and spirituality.
Beauty is when you realize this life is just a dance, and realizing that you may need to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and start the motion before you hear the music. Beauty is knowing the music is there before you're able to hear it. It's the space between two thoughts. It's the moment in meditation when you gently, silently touch a presence that is not of this world, but that feels more real than any world you've ever known.
In the end, I don't care how you look, how I look, or what your eyes tell your brain about what you see. I want to know how you feel when you do what you love; I want to know what lights you the f*ck up and sets your soul on fire. I want to know how you've been betrayed, how you've been raked across the coals, and what energy helped you to stand up again. That's beautiful.
Close your eyes and open your heart to this ugly, flowing, beautiful moment we call life.